The power of that one knows ones roots

Hej Style Hunter

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En regnfuld kold dag inviterer til lidt TV kiggeri. Derfor har jeg samlet op på TV2 serie “Hemmeligheder og løgne”. Hvis du ikke har set nogle af afsnittene kan jeg fortælle den handler om mennesker, som søger deres rødder, mennesker som først sent i livet opdager sandheden omkring deres familiemæssige relationer – deres rødder.

Jeg er selv adopteret og har altid vidst at min mor ikke havde født mig og at min mor og far ikke var mine biologiske forældre. Flere af de medvirkende i seriens er på min alder – omkring de 50 år.

Den gang var det en udbredt sandhed at sådan oplysninger skulle holdes hemmeligt for børnene, at det på en måde kunne være sådan lidt skamfuldt ikke at være et biologisk barn. Den gang var det eneste rigtige en ægte kernefamilie med far, mor og børn.

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Jeg har flere gange fortalt at mine forældre var for ud for deres tid, fordi min mor og far var overbevist om at det var bedre at kende sandheden og lære at takle sandheden. Jeg har ikke en erindring om at min mor og far har fortalt mig det, jeg har mere en oplevelse af at det er en sandhed jeg altid har kendt.

Når jeg ser programmet “Hemmeligheder og løgne” er det tydeligt at se hvad det betyder for en menneske at opleve at dem man elsker og stoler aller mest på har løget. Det var lige netop det min mor ikke ville have jeg skulle opleve, for hende var det vigtigt at jeg havde tillid og tro på at min mor var sandfærdig over for mig.

I det første program møder vi Marcus, som på grund af en fejl på en fertilitets klinik bliver født af en kvinde som ikke er hans biologiske mor. Klinikken har begået den fejl at de har insemineret Marcus mor med en anden kvindes æg som er blevet befrugtet af en ukendt donor. Det viser sig at Marcus mor er Iransk og at Marcus far er en Englænder som er bosat i danmark.

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Vi følger Marcus søgen efter sine biologiske rødder samtidig med vi oplever hvordan denne søgen påvirker Marcus forældre. Naturligvis elsker Marcus mor sin søn, som hun har båret i 9 måneder, født og opfostret i 19 år. Derfor bliver vi vidne til Marcus mor og fars angst for at miste deres søn, samtidig med de støtter ham i hans søgen.

Marcus udtrykker det så fint; “Der skal mere end blod til at skabe en familie”. Jeg kan med min baggrund kun tilslutte mig, fordi at de mennesker som drager omsorg, udviser kærlighed og støtte gennem hele barndommen, bliver til de “rigtige” forældre. Den plads er der igen som kan tage. Jeg synes Marcus forældre takler hele situationen så fantastisk og jeg synes de er det perfekte forbillede på hvordan “angsten for at miste” skal håndteres.

Jeg har nævnt det flere gange, men er nødt til igen at rose mine forældre fordi de var så meget forud for deres tid, fordi de i deres hjerter vidste at uanset hvad vil de til evig tid være mine forældre. Er du selv adoptivforældre kan du roligt lægge din angst for at blive valgt fra til side, fordi uanset hvad vil du altid være mor eller far. Ingen kan tage din plads.

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Hvad er styrken ved at kende sine rødder? I programmerne hører vi flere gange deltagerne nævne behovet for at kunne spejle sig selv. Og jeg er helt enig, når man vokser op sammen med sin biologiske familie lægger man ikke mærke til hvor vigtigt det er at kunne se lighederne mellem sig selv og sine familiemedlemmer, fordi det foregår helt ubemærket. Men når man ikke kan spejle sig i sin biologiske familie oplever man virkelig der mangler en dimension i forhold til at kunne forstå sig selv.

Det er derfor det kan have store konsekvenser at vokse op uden muligheder for spejling og uden viden om hvorfor man er anderledes.

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Det blev et længere indlæg i dag, men det er fordi dette emne er så vigtigt for mig.

Jeg ønsker dig en dejlig lørdag og glæder mig til vi ses igen i morgen.

ILYG

/Angel

English Translation

Hello Style Hunte

A rainy cold day invites to a little TV watching. Therefore, I have picked up on TV2 series “Secrets & Lies”. If you have not seen some of the sections I can tell it is about people seeking their roots, people who only late in life discover the truth about their family relationships – their origins.

I myself am adopted and always knew that my mother had given birth to me and my mother and father were not my biological parents. Several of the cast of the series is my age – around 50 years.

The time it was a common truth that such information would be kept secret from the children that it somehow could be such a little shameful not to be a biological child. The time was the only real a real nuclear family with father, mother and children.

I have repeatedly told my parents were out of their time, because my mother and father were convinced that it was better to know the truth and learn to deal with the truth. I have no memory of my mother and father told me that I have more of an experience that it is a truth I have always known.

When I see the program “Secrets & Lies” it is clear to see what it means for a human being to experience those you love and trust most most of the onion. It was just that my mother would not want me to find her, it was important that I had trust and belief that my mother was truthful to me.

In the first program we meet Marcus, who, because of an error at a fertility clinic is born of a woman who is not his biological mother. The clinic has made the mistake that they have inseminated Marcus mother with another woman’s egg that has been fertilized by an unknown donor. It turns out that Marcus mother is Iranian and Marcus’s father is an Englishman who lives in Denmark.

We follow Marcus search for his biological roots while we see how this quest affects Marcus parents. Obviously love Marcus mother her son, which she has worn for nine months, was born and raised in 19 years. Therefore, we witnessed Marcus mother and father’s fear of losing their son, while they support him in his quest.

Marcus puts it so well; “It takes more than blood to create a family.” I can with my background only agree because the people who care, show love and support throughout childhood, becomes the “real” parents. The space is there again as you can take. I think Marcus parents tackles the entire situation so amazing and I think they are the perfect example of how the “fear of losing” to be handled.

I’ve mentioned it several times, but have to again praise my parents because they were so much ahead of their time, because in their hearts knew that whatever they will forever be my parents. Are you even adoptive parents can safely put your fear of being rejected to the side, because no matter what you will always be mother or father. No one can take your place.

What is The power of that one knows ones roots? In the programs we hear repeatedly participants mention the need to mirror themself in family members. And I totally agree that when you grow up with his biological family does not notice how important it is to see the similarities between himself and members of his family, because it takes place completely unnoticed. But when you can not see yourself reflected in his biological family experience you really are missing a dimension in relation to understand themselves.

That’s why it can have major consequences of growing up without opportunities for reflection and without knowledge of why one is different.

It was a long post today, but that is because this subject is so important to me.

I wish you a wonderful Saturday and am looking forward to see you again tomorrow.

ILYG

/ Angel

About AngelQueen

I love fashion and my style cores is feminine. If your style core isn't the feminine don't worry, because the are 6 style cores to choose from. I love to play with my style and I always try to find new ways to put my outfits together. I believe that fashion should be like a game - a fun game where I try new looks and still remains true to my style core. Besides fashion is a breeze, I also think it should be festive, so I give my styleing max speed - in my universe, every day is a celebration of life. If you love fashion, I hope you will love my blog and find inspiration for your fun with the fashion games. I wish you welcome to my blog and wish you a lot of fun. ILYG

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