The Denmark’s collection – crack cancer

Hej Style Hunter

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Vi har vel alle mere alle mere eller mindre haft kræft inde på livet. Jeg vil dog i anledningen af “The Denmark’s collection – crack cancer” dele min historie om kræft.

Jeg var 14 år da min mor den dag da jeg kom hjem fra skole, var usædvanlig alvorlig. Vi plejede altid at drikke en kop kaffe og tale om dagen og vejr og vind inden jeg skulle i gang med lektierne. Men netop den dag kunne jeg mærke på min mor at hun var meget alvorlig. Straks begyndte jeg at tænke på om det var noget jeg havde gjort – om hun var vred på mig.

Det skule vise sig at min mor ikke var vred på mig, men i stedet meget bekymret. Hun havde som hun plejede at være hvert andet år, været til gennemlysning for tuberkulose. Min mor arbejdede som sundhedsassistent på byens plejehjem. Ved gennemlysningen havde de konstateret en skygge som hun havde været til kontrol med flere gange og hun havde også sendt hoste prøver til hospitalet. Det viste jeg fordi hun havde fortalt det og fordi jeg havde set det.

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Men netop i dag havde hun været ved lægen og fået svar på sidste gennemlysning og nu kunne de se at skyggen var vokset sig meget stor og hun skulle derfor indlægges og opereres i hendes ene lunge.

Jeg blev selvfølgelig meget bange og begyndte at græde og spørge til hvad der ville ske hvis det viste sig at det var kræft – om hun så skulle dø. Min mor var meget fattet og ærlig og fortalte at planen var at lægerne ville prøve at opererer knuden væk og at hun sagtens kunne leve med kun 1 ½ lunge. Min mor var fortrøstningsfuld.

Dagen kom hvor min mor skulle opereres og jeg var virkelig bange for at hun ikke skulle vågne igen, men heldigvis vågnede hun og selv om hun var træt beroligede det mig meget at se og tale med min mor.

Dagens efter da vi var på hospitalet skulle lægerne tale med både min mor og far. De havde ikke gode nyheder, fordi det viste sig at kræften havde spredt sig fordi min mor havde gået med den onde skygge i sin krop et par år inden hun endelig blev opereret.

Jeg husker tydeligt at min mor og far fortalte mig at kræften havde spredt sig i min mors krop og at vi nu kun kunne vente og se hvor den viste sig næste gang.

Egentlig nåede jeg næsten at glemme at min mor havde kræft, fordi der gik knapt 1½ år før vi så mere til kræften. Denne gang opdagede vi den fordi min mor havde forfærdelige smerter i sit hoved og fordi hun pludselig ikke kunne stå, gå eller holde balancen.

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Min mor kom straks i strålebehandling, men sandheden var at lægerne ikke kunne hjælpe min mor, fordi kræften havde spredt sig alle vegne i hendes krop. Nu kunne vi kun vente og se hvordan kræften langsom men sikkert ødelagde min mor og hendes krop. Til sidst kunne jeg ikke kende min mor, jeg kan huske at det var meget skræmmende at opleve.

Det var ganske forfærdeligt at se sin mor blive mere og mere alvorlig syg – ikke at kunne gøre noget – at vide hun snart skulle dø. Min mor var tapper og vi talte meget om hvor højt hun elskede mig og hvor gerne hun ville have været med i mit liv og set mig få en uddannelse, blive gift og få børn.

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Jeg var 17 år da min mor døde og den gang var der igen som tænkte på at hjælpe et barn som havde mistet sin mor på det værst tænkelige tidspunkt i sit liv. Jeg blev så vred på min mor at jeg smækkede og låste døren ind til de smukke og kærlige minder jeg havde med min mor. I stedet var jeg bare vred på hende og synes hun havde gjort det dårligt. Den oplevelse holdt jeg fast i lige til 30 senere hvor min far døde. Først da jeg skulle bearbejde min sorg over tabet af min elskede far, at der blev plads til at sørge og bearbejde tabet af min mor. Min elskede mor som af ren og skær kærlighed gav mig det dyrebareste – sit liv – for at jeg kunne få en tryg opvækst og blive et helt og velfungerende menneske. (Du kan læse forklaringen på hvorfor jeg mener min mor gav mig det dyrebareste her.)

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Derfor giver jeg altid et bidrag til indsamlinger til fordel for cancer. Jeg ønsker ikke at andre familier skal opleve den forfærdelige sygdom. Jeg håber snart de finder en kur mod denne forfærdelige sygdom som både er frygtelig for de mennesker som rammes med så sandelig også for deres pårørende.

Har du givet et bidrag til knæk cancer ? du kan stadig nå at bidrage. Jeg sender en varm og kærlig tanke til alle som på den ene eller anden måde er berørt af cancer.

Jeg ønsker dig en dejlig aften og glæder mig til vi ses igen i morgen.

ILYG

/Angel

English Translation

Hello Style Hunter

We have all more all more or less had cancer close to our lifes. I will, however, on the occasion of “The Denmark’s collection – crack cancer” share my story about cancer.

I was 14 when my mother one day when I came home from school, was unusually severe. We always used to drink a cup of coffee and talk about the day and the weather before I had to start my homework. But that day, I could feel on my mother that she was very serious.

Immediately I began to think if it was something I had done – if she was mad at me.

The frown prove that my mother was not angry at me, but instead very concerned. She did as she used to be every two years, been rayed for tuberculosis. My mother worked as a healthcare assistant at the city’s nursing homes. By exray they had found a shadow as she had been at the hopital for checking several times and she had also sent cough samples to the hospital. It showed I because she had told it and because I knew about the situation.

But just that day, she had seen a doctor and received answers to last candling and now they could see that the shadow had grown very large and she had to be hospitalized and operated in one of her lungs.

I was obviously very frightened and began to cry and ask what would happen if it turned out that it was cancer – whether she would die. My mother was very succinct and honest and told that the plan was that doctors would try to operate the knot away and that she could live with only 1 ½ lung. My mother was hopeful.

The day came when my mother had surgery and I was really afraid that she would not wake again, but fortunately she woke up and even though she was tired it reassured me a lot to see and talk to my mother.

The day after when we were at the hospital had doctors talk to both my mother and father. They did not have good news, because it turned out that the cancer had spread because my mother had gone with the evil knot in her body a couple of years before she finally underwent surgery.

I remember that my mother and father told me that the cancer had spread to my mother’s body and that we could only wait and see how it was going to turn out.

Actually, I did almost forget that my mother had cancer, because there was barely 1½ years before we saw more of the cancer. This time we discovered it because my mother had terrible pain in her head and because she suddenly could not stand, walk or keep her balance.

My mother came immediately in radiotherapy, but the truth was that doctors could not help my mother because the cancer had spread everywhere in her body. Now we could only wait and see how the cancer slowly but surely was destroying my mom and her body. Finally I could not recognise  my mother, I remember that it was a very scary experience.

It was quite awful to see my mother become more and more seriously ill – not being able to do anything – to know she would soon die. My mother was brave and we talked a lot about how she loved me and how willingly she would have Wanted to stay in my life and see me get an education, get married and have children.

I was 17 when my mother died and at that time was there again no help to a child who had lost her mother at the worst time in her life. I was so angry with my mother that I slammed and locked the door to the beautiful and loving memories I had with my mother. Instead, I was just angry at her and thinking that she had done it badly. The experience I held inside, until about 30 years later when my father died. Only when I had to work with my grief over the loss of my beloved father, that there was space to grieve and process the loss of my mother. My beloved mother whom of sheer love gave me the most precious – her life – so I could get a safe childhood and become a completely functioning human being. (You can read the explanation for why I think my mother gave me the most precious here.)

Therefore, I always make a contribution to the fundraising efforts for cancer. I do not want other families to experience the terrible disease. I hope soon they find a cure for this terrible disease that is both terrible for the people who are affected and certainly also for their relatives.

Have you made a contribution to crack cancer? you can still contribute. I send a warm and loving thoughts to all who in one way or another are affected by cancer.

I wish you a lovely evening and I look forward to seeing you again tomorrow.

ILYG

/ Angel

About AngelQueen

I love fashion and my style cores is feminine. If your style core isn't the feminine don't worry, because the are 6 style cores to choose from. I love to play with my style and I always try to find new ways to put my outfits together. I believe that fashion should be like a game - a fun game where I try new looks and still remains true to my style core. Besides fashion is a breeze, I also think it should be festive, so I give my styleing max speed - in my universe, every day is a celebration of life. If you love fashion, I hope you will love my blog and find inspiration for your fun with the fashion games. I wish you welcome to my blog and wish you a lot of fun. ILYG

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